Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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