Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Only a mothe r could love this liver
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize