you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
