If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize