i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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