There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
