You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize