No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
