note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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