If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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