Got a toothbrush?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
