I hope mine doesn't look like that
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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