so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
