I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
