I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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