So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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