ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think your dad took our porno
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
