we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
