So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
They have beer where we have blood.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
