is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
