I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
