you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
