Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
