Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
