JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
please come you make the beer taste better
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
