we have pet lesbian snakes
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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