So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
