Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize