lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
