): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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