he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
