Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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