Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
True college students do jello shots in the library
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize