He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
