He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
