I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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