Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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