she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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