what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
