I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
