I just cut my nipple shaving
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
