You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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