Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize