I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
