Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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