hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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