last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
