no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
