she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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