My nipple is on Facebook.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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