I think I died a long time ago.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
