I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
