she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
