so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
