A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
