i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
