Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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