Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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