I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
