SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
