Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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