hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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