The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
