Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
there is puke in my bra ... again
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