**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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