margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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