Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
