i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
