My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
